Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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