her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
