also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
