There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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