Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
