So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
only you would photoshop your dick
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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