We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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