I CAN MOONWALK!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
