apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
