i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
