haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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