I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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