He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
