I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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