at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize