i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
