I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ugly people sure do ruin things
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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