HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
