So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
