So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
