so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
