ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
