Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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