DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
