im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We have started to decorate penises.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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