I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
