my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
