I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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