Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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