Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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