We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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