then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
