ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
