Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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