Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Is Oprah even human
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
