i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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