I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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