Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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