I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
