Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
