My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
