Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you inspire me to be a worse person
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
