he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
