2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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