Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
