She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
