I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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