drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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