I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im holly from the hills drunk
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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