He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
