Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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