Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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