Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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