When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think your dad took our porno
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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