So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
