The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
