apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
