Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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