What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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