Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize