Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
