arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
where does the pee come out of this thing
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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