so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
