he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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